


When You're Gone

by sammysouffle (talesandthings)



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Foggy Nelson needs a hug, Gen, Love Confessions, Major Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 11:24:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11850582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesandthings/pseuds/sammysouffle
Summary: Foggy has to tell Matt something.





	When You're Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by lari-autrallys: Maybe Foggy realizing he is in love with Matt only knows when he thinks Matt had died?

They didn’t have a body so they buried an empty coffin instead. Foggy visits it every morning. Sometimes he runs into Karen, other times he’s by himself. Before they parted way, Foggy and Matt had a tradition. Foggy brought Matt coffee every morning and then walked him to work. Matt couldn’t function without coffee. He would get cranky and then ruin both his and Foggy’s morning. So Foggy took it upon himself to make sure he was wholeheartedly caffeinated. 

He now brings the coffee here every morning, and sits in front of the tombstone, and drinks it while talking to Matt. He talks about anything and everything. Most days he tells Matt about his clients, other days he complains about Marci. 

But today, today, he has something different to tell Matt. Something far more important. Something he only realized last night, that made him cry himself to sleep. 

Like always, Foggy settles down in front of the tomb with both coffees in hand. He leaves one on top of the tomb, while keeps the other for himself. “Hey, buddy.” His voice sounds hoarse to his own ears. “Summer’s almost here.” His heart clenches as he adds, “It’s the first summer without you here." 

He brings the coffee cup up to his lips and takes a sip to hydrate his dry throat. He lets the warm cup rest between his palms and just stares at the gravestone for a few minutes. _In Memory of Matthew Michael Murdock. Friend and Son._ It reads. Foggy almost had the urge to add "Hero” in there too. 

Foggy’s heart beats hard against his chest. He knows Matt can’t hear him, but it’s still so hard to voice his feelings out loud. 

“I- I need to tell you something, Matt. I don’t know how you’d react to this if you were-” He pauses and blinks back his tears. “-If you were here." 

Foggy knows how Matt felt about Karen. Now he even knows how much he loved Elektra. So Foggy obviously wouldn’t have a chance with him. But he likes to think that he would have confessed his feelings, anyway, if Matt was here. "What I wanted to say was-” He takes in and lets out a deep breath. “-Wow, this is harder than I thought." 

Foggy places his coffee cup on the ground and clambers to his feet, before pacing in front of the headstone. 

"Okay, here’s what I wanted to say-” He stops pacing and looks at the headstone again. “I love you. I don’t know how long I’ve been in love with you but it’s something I realized yesterday when I had to go pick up your stuff from your apartment. I came across the picture from our graduation- yes, the one that Marci took after you sprayed me with a whole can of whipped cream. You claimed that she told you it was silly string." 

His heart aches at the fond memory. "And it just hit me like a freight train, man. You were genuinely laughing in that picture. I have never seen you laugh like that again.” Foggy throat starts to get tight with emotions. He clears it again and leans down to pick up his coffee. 

“I wish you were you here so I could tell you this in person. I know you would have told me that you don’t feel the same way, but man, I don’t even care. Because, this- you not being here- it hurts far worse than being turned down.”  The tears finally start to fall but Foggy doesn’t make any move to wipe them away. “-I love you, Matt. I love you so much and I- I just  _miss_ you. I thought those 6 months we didn’t talk were the worst months of my life, but now, I would take that over this any day.” Foggy sniffles and wipes his nose with the back of his hand. 

“Karen still hasn’t given up hope. She thinks you’re out there. I keep telling her that you’re not, that you’re really gone,  but between you and me, I hope to God, she’s right.” Foggy takes another long pause. His shoulders shake as sobs, standing there in front of his best friend’s grave. When he manages to compose himself a little, he wipes away his tears and clears his throat again. “So- so if you’re out there then please come back. I don’t care if we never talk again- hell, I don’t even care if you come back as a fucking zombie- just-just please come home…" 

Foggy knows this is wishful thinking. Matt’s never coming back, but he had to try at least once. 

***

Like always, Foggy finds the coffee cup missing the next morning. He knows the groundskeeper likely throws them away, thinking it’s trash, but sometimes– he likes to imagine that maybe just  _maybe_ there’s a different explanation. He doesn’t let himself dwell on it, though, or he’ll start holding out false hope like Karen.


End file.
